We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If that was your dad, he is hot
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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