Me. At least after what I've been through.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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