I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
