I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
