i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The power of my boobs compel you
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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