This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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