Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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