this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He better not be in your backpack
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
