between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
