i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
