i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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