how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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