i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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