Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
