Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
