I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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