I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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