i jhust puked up my retainher.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
