is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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