Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
