Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i dont even know how to be here
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The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night