So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.