That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize