No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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