id be glad to
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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