don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
