Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
