no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
