hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
