turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love you. Go after that dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
