forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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