i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
