Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
