Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
