I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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