some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
