it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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