drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
