we're blogging at a bar
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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