It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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