Where is the hickey?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
