you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
