you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
