What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and she was petting her beer can
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
