I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
