I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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