I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
