Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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