Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
