do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
