Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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