you didnt know i had herpes?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
