how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
