i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dick very happy bro
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
