Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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(815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y

Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (1039)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other

(413): View more from Massachusetts

and it's going to stay that way

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(203): I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other (413): and it's going to stay that way http://tfl.nu/bh5o

Replies (11) Good night (671) Bad night (2795)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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(484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0

Replies (82) Good night (6250) Bad night (632)
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(917): View more from New York City

She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

(646): View more from New York

Lmao what?

(917): View more from New York City

It's a yes or no question.

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(917): She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms? (646): Lmao what? (917): It's a yes or no question. http://tfl.nu/ypn0

Replies (20) Good night (4963) Bad night (1143)
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(443): View more from Maryland

just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

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(443): just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?! http://tfl.nu/h1we

Replies (13) Good night (6535) Bad night (924)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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(570): i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something http://tfl.nu/ax1a

Replies (28) Good night (7512) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap

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(425): You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap http://tfl.nu/o5dz

Replies (9) Good night (4397) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond

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(415): handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond http://tfl.nu/umuj

Replies (19) Good night (2358) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!

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(603): how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?! http://tfl.nu/d9ja

Replies (8) Good night (813) Bad night (1378) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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(734): The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me. http://tfl.nu/j8wb

Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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(954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79

Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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(646): View more from New York

Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

(347): View more from New York

I can't even drink.

(646): View more from New York

The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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(646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa

Replies (10) Good night (1766) Bad night (455)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.

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(306): I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later. http://tfl.nu/c155

Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (231) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Pics or STFU

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(617): Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward. (1-617): Pics or STFU http://tfl.nu/b1yq

Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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(+44): We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA! http://tfl.nu/862o

Replies (6) Good night (550) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

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