Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
