Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
