Will you blow on my dice?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
