That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
