All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
