1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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