I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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