My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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