Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
