ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
