Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
